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Monday, December 11, 2006

On being handsome and getting your butt touched, the latter not necessarily because of the former

Something is awry in this country. In America I would have responded with mild surprise had someone called me cute; in Korea, I am apparently rather stunning. Men and women both young and old (though unfortunately no ladies aged 20-25) have all been forward enough either to tell me or my boss that I am a very handsome man. Apparently one Korean wife (the Korean word, by the way, is "houseperson") angered her husband when she made such a comment to my boss. A high school student called me handsome in the middle of a lesson in which we were discussing looks, hair, etc; my boss' husband, who speaks very little English, did so while we were in the elevator; and a middle schooler today took my teacher's book, wrote "Mike Handsome Mike <3<3" on it, and gave it back to me. I must conclude that either they don't understand the word, they are trying to ingratiate themselves (understandable for the students, less so for the bosses), or they revere whities.

In an unrelated case, a Korean elementary schooler pulled a little manoeuvre (that's right, I've been watching the BBC over here) on me that I had hoped never to experience. I read about it on some general korea info site: little kids run around and then pretty much jaab you right in the butt crack with the pointer and middle fingers. Actually I think I'd rather not talk about it.

Even more unrelated: When I first arrived I had functioning cable TV. After a few days I decided to work a little Feng Shui in my room, mostly with the goal of moving the bed to the warmest spot. It had previously been right next to the window, so was often about 4 degrees (celsius) colder than the area by the thermostat, so I figured it'd be efficient to move it elsewhere. In the process of doing this, I had to unplug the TV, which then lost its settings and thus about 80% of my channels. So, for the next 6 days, I didn't have any English TV at all, which means that I completed much reading (Kauffman's Critique of Religion and Philosophy is much recommended), Korean practice, and Sudoku. Then on Sunday the director's husband came by, changed the tv input setting, which I couldn't do due to its korean-ness, and got me my cable back. I had to do the little channel finder thing, which I had found on my own, and then, voila, I had about an additional 40 channels. So now I've got 85 or so, maybe 8 of which are in English.

The best thing on TV is the BBC channel, lots of good news and such. But an even better thing, or rather two of them, is the STARCRAFT CHANNEL. If you weren't a huge starcraft dork in high school, then, frankly, I'm surprised we're friends. Because I used to be crazy about that game, though never to good. Anyway these channels have 24/7 (so I've gleaned since Sunday morning) coverage of starcraft battles. I hadn't thought about protoss and zergs and terrans (not to mention carriers and scourges and firebats and hydralisks and goliaths) in so long! So now, even though I don't have the game on my computer, I can still get some vicarious kicks watching revered - yes, these shows are taped with a live audience, and girls are screaming - teenage boys rock at video games.

Oh, the other best thing is that they play pong on TV sometimes. Maybe if America would get a clue and start airing some coverage of the 2nd most popular sport in the world, fewer college grads like myself would be lured away to the Orient.

On the other hand, though, having a washer but not a dryer is pretty lame. My clothes have been drying on a rack now for 36 hours, and only about 1/2 of the items are wearable. This is a big deal considering that the rack either takes up 50% of the remaining floor space in my bedroom or 90% of it in my bathroom.


Anonymous said...

Oh those infamous, butt-poking Korean children. Didn't their mothers teach them better??? By which I mean, to wear gloves and lube; you've gotta think safety first these days (AIDS AIDS AIDS...AIDS!). And don't be so glum, it might be the most action you'll get in a while. But then again, your boss did say you were cute. WHITE POWER (to get you a raise)!

Okay, seriously, the coolest thing about Korea so far: Starcraft channel. Please tell me you've gluttoned (and slothed, probably) yourself to watch a classic stim'ed marine rush vs protoss zealots. That is teh ownage, ::expletive deleted::

And, come on dude, don't you see the connection between cute and Starcraft? Fangirl audiences screaming for hot video gamers + Mike's boyish mug being complimented by middle schoolers, high schoolers (totally legal in Korea, btw), and coworkers (also legal, as long as you don't get caught) + countless hours logged on battle.net = they know you're the ownerer. There's no other explanation, just accept your booty -- and not like those Korean children, that only works before puberty.

The Bombanaut said...

Man, Aaron got to the post first, and thus was able to comment wittily on all your paragraphs before I. Oh well.

That stinks about not having a dryer. Maybe just pan-fry your clothes? Or hang them over the gas stove somehow...safely. Or microwave?

Dude, please tell me they have a 24/7 Pocket Tanks channel!!

Do they play rball over there?

megatron said...

I don't have a clothes dryer either!! We have an elaborate setup of drying racks in our dining room at all times. And Big Pat never moves his underwear, he just leaves it on a drying rack until wear. Are you using fabric softener in the washer?? I recently learned that it cuts down on the crunchiness of washed/non-dried clothes.

Oh, and I had 2 giggle attacks while reading your post. Both in public.

The Bombanaut said...

Oh, and by the way, we all know why these women are so hot for you: you make your chest.

Mike said...

Thanks Aaron, I knew I could count on you to 1) blaspheme all over the place in spite of my attempts to avoid dirty humor (after all, the grandparents read this stuff) and 2) appreciate starcraft humor. Indeed, I have vegged out to some major battles. When will these n00bs learn that lurkers are always vulnerable to the templar/archon energy storm?

As for the Rball, we know that they play it somewhere around here since Min started playing while he was still here. The gym close to me doesn't have it, I don't think. They do have squash though, so booya.

And my socks are now dry.

Adam said...

nicely commented on the "you make your chest" reference.
maybe if you made your way near any reproductive aged korean hotties they would also be impressed by your chest making and may even poke your butt... if... that's what you're into.

The Bombanaut said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Adam said...

whose comments do you keep deleting?
she was probably a hot korean girl who was in love with me and in a bitter fit of jealous rage, her comment (and cute icon) was deleted, by you, mike.

Mike said...

I haven't deleted any comments. Someone is doing it on his/her own.

Seriously, if I were the sort to delete comments, do you really think that Aaron's would still be up there?

Adam said...

well i can only imagine that it's jeff... incensed at not getting the first post, writes bitter little nothings, and then erases them after sobering up. then he cries himself to sleep for being lame enough to be in a "competition" for said first post.

Anonymous said...

Well, if that's the case...take heart, Jeff. My blog checking is of an erratic nature that does not lend itself well to frequently getting the first post. Though, thanks for the "witty" attribution; I think that increases my wisdom by 2...

And Mike, you're completely welcome for my having sullied your prestine reputation...if that's what we're pretending. Everyone who reads this either is young, was young, or will be young...so don't get your korean panties in a twist. (And also, don't ask me how they will be young...the willhavingbeen tense is still under development).

RE: lurkers + psi storm <<--- ROFL! those n00bs are teh gay! I bet your grandmother (who's hopefully reading this) could totally pwn them and stuff.

Bob said...

Sorry I haven't been diligent in posting comments up here. I'll get better.

Also, I'm pretty sure whoever started that Starcraft channel stole the idea from me in high school just sitting around watching other people pwn on Starcraft and Diablo II. Its suprisingly more fun to watch somebody else play a video game than you'd think.

Furthrmore, check out this trailer (if you can)
Balls of Fury

Anonymous said...

Nice find, Bob-o. Glad to have you bring some class to this here shindig.