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Sunday, September 09, 2012

A Real-time Fauxbo's Dilemma

It's slightly past 11 AM.  You've been cycling, mostly uphill, for over two hours.  The day has been overcast but you worked hard enough that you did sweat a bit.  Particularly your feet.  You finally hit a town and swing by the first outdoor market you see.  Three ladies are selling freshly fried sweet potato chips for five kuai per bag.  You buy one and take it to the park to eat.  You read DFW while munching when, not altogether surprisingly, a chip slips from your fingers and plinkos down the rock you're sitting on, finally coming to rest in one of the shoes you took off so you could air your feet out. 

Do you eat it (the chip)?





If you say no, you have yet to obtain fauxbohood. 
If you say yes, but then look around to make sure nobody watches you shake out your shoe and eat the flaky yellow thing that comes tumbling out, you're almost there. 
If you eat it without hesitation and then think that it will probably actually make your shoe smell better, you should come join me immediately.

Windows Phone에서 발송된 메일입니다.

7 comments:

Jeff Stepp said...

I feel like I'm playing an old-school text adventure game. "FAUXBO: Legend of the Damned"

Anonymous said...

I have never understood what was so supposedly god awful about 1) eating food from the floor or 2) that which as fallen in dirty clothes or said shoes.

나일 said...

Ok, so what is a FAUXBO?

and what if the sweet potato chip falls down the crack of your ass, even just momentarily ??

Chris Buchman said...

If a sweet potato chip falls in a shoe and nobody sees it, does it make a sound?

Melissa said...

Five second rule! :)

Dave said...

In theory no, in practice yes.

Mike said...

Jeff: The post was designed to be read on your TI-83 Plus.

나열: Thanks to my super-tight padded- groin lycra bike shorts, there's approximately a 0% chance of anything falling down my crack. Nice try. I'll explain the fauxbo thing later. Or search the blog, something'll come up.

Chris: If nobody eats it, how does it taste?

David: Answered like a true hobo. Only Fauxbos bother theorizing, after all. Why aren't you with me?